I’m stealing this from Robb — no shame.
- I truly appreciate everyone’s support during this difficult week. My grandma is finally out of the ICU (though far from recovered), and my mental health is on the mend. Love you guys.
- My husband turns 28 on Monday. He’s basically 30.
- Josiah and I booked our vacation to Portland! I’ll be there June 14-19, feeding my Jilda addiction.
- I’m ready to deal with my stress reasonably (see: not with food). I “gained” 8 pounds in about 3 weeks of really (mentally and physically) unhealthy choices. In all honesty, this month has been filled with incredibly ugly thoughts and actions toward myself. No more. I’m back to a reasonable starting point though, and it’s time to give the respect it deserves.
- See above :). Five miles for Friday, including one quick one!
- No Weigh May
- Continue loving CrossFit
- Fall back in love with running
- Be nicer to my husband
- Paint/decorate the office
- Buckle down at work/freelancing
- Relax and live life
Behold! My workout calendar!
I wanted to see if there were any patterns in my CF gym’s strength programming, so I made a little calendar, backtracking 6 weeks. Here’s the edited version of this month, with my workouts highlighted in green (Saturdays don’t have traditional strength segments). I figure this will be a nice way to keep track of my lifts, weights and—fingers crossed—progress.
Also, pay no attention to my lack of running this month … I moved, remember?!
So. Turns out doing two CF classes and a 4 mile run in 14 hours is HARD.
5 Rounds (45s work, 15s rest):
Remember how much I love snatching (aka the only other time I did it)? Well, one of the coaches made a big fuss in front of everyone saying how impressed he was with my form, then gave me a high five. He might as well have put a gold star on my spelling test because I was beaming like a first grader!
Agility ladder, suicides
400m med ball run (15#), 100 pull ups
400m MB run, 100 push ups
400m MB run, 100 squats
400m MB run, 100 sit ups
400m MB run
THEN 4 miles with Kelsey. Excuse me while I die.
P.S. It is already hot as balls outside. FUUUUUUU.
Scar a la September/October/November 2012
Do I have your attention? So, where have I been?
So, you may remember Morty, my neuroma. He popped up in December, halting my marathon training. I went to the podiatrist. I got cortisone shots. I stopped running. I started again. I stopped.
Over the summer, I went to the orthopedic foot/ankle surgeon. He prescribed a topical pain cream … to be applied four times daily. It didn’t work. Eventually I could barely walk. So, he removed the nerve in September.
It should’ve been an easy surgery, with a small incision in my arch and a three-week recovery time. The neuroma was deeper and more inflammed than the surgeon thought, so the incision lengthened to the ball of my foot.
I wore a surgical boot for the next two months—not three weeks. Long story short, I had a sympathetic nervous reaction to the nerve removal. We found that out after my foot started turning purple (see photo) and my scar tissue had not broken down at all. I couldn’t drive, walk, work out, etc. Fun!
To make sure it didn’t develop into full blown Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, I had to take amitriptyline (an antidepressant used to calm nerves, literally) every day for THREE MONTHS. The side effects were less than ideal (extreme drowsiness, weight gain, etc.). It’s also likely that my arthritis had something to do with this condition popping up.
THE GOOD NEWS: My nerve pain is gone. I have absolutely no discomfort while running.
However, my scar tissue is still pretty heavy, so I can’t quite walk barefoot yet. And, I had a nerve removed, so I am forever numb in between my second and third toe. A small price to pay, though.
In the end, Morty really caused a scene and rendered 2012 a wash, as I was either in too much pain/too surgeried to do anything. But he’s been evicted, and I am feeling hopeful and excited to become a runner again.
Congratulations if you made it to the end of this swollen foot post.
All right. Accountability starts now.
- Run 3x/week. I’ve been running a couple times a week for the past two months, including multiple 6-mile runs. I’m feeling confident after 2012’s wash of a running year. Time to commit.
- Run one 5+ miler/week. Let’s gradually ease back into the long run mentality.
- Group fitness class 1x/week. Allie and I did a CrossFit-esque class at Lululemon on Tuesday, and it was fun! I’d like to incorporate this and Body Pump back into my schedule.
- Ab work 3x/week. My abs are … weak. To say the least. I need to seriously strengthen my core for running, and my midsection is awfully flabby these days.
- Maintain 1300 calories/rest day, scaled up on run days. Let’s be honest — I’ve gained weight. Not much, but enough to cause frustration. I’ve struggled to lose a few pounds in the past few months, with no luck. Time for some will power.
- Not lose my sanity. We’re buying a house; the close date is 3/29. This month calls for purging, packing, moving, cleaning, painting, pooping my pants. Please let me live to tell the tale.
Tomorrow, I’ll give you all of the glorious details of my 7-month absence: arthritis, surgery, inability to walk, new job, veganism, meat eating, house buying.
YEP IT’S BEEN CRAY.
I’ve missed you all. I love you all. It’s good to be back.
P.S. - I just reread my farewell tumblr post, and I started crying. I think I made the right decision.
AM I BRIGHT ENOUGH?! (Oh hi, Noah.)
Today Kelsey and I conquered some intervals. I haven’t run much the past few weeks due to my recent lethargy, but I’m ready to get back into it. These intervals weren’t too difficult, but it felt good to run a bit faster.
5 miles total:
- 1 mile WU
- .5 mile intervals (7:49, 8:04, 7:59, 7:54) with .33 mile recovery between
- 1 mile CD
It’s hard to go back and read posts like this and this, where I was running 7+ miles at these paces. But I can’t dwell on it, and I won’t.
I’ll get back there. It’s time to push the pace.
In December, tendonitis halted my marathon training. I recovered, just in time to develop a neuroma in the same foot. With the help of some cortisone shots, my foot finally healed by March. Four months had passed since I was putting in nearly 40 miles a week, feeling quite unstoppable.
March also brought an odd pain in my hand. What started as a simple discomfort grew over the weeks. I stopped using my hand, let alone lifting weights. A visit to the doctor and many vials of blood later led to this gem of a discovery: I’m 25 and have rheumatoid arthritis.
I’m struggling. The past five months have hurt. Physically and mentally.
I want this post to be positive. To be optimistic and hopeful. To be motivating.
But to be honest, I’m not in that place right now.
Instead, I’m dwelling. Dwelling on lost time, on gained weight, on diminished strength and stamina. On ebbing emotions and restless nights. On my health, which is uncertain and frightening. I’m dwelling on the past. And the future.
Where am I going? Most days, I don’t know.
I do know that I have a husband, family and friends who love me. I do know that I have passion.
And I have running. Sure, I also have knee and foot pain, tight muscles, dismal speed and nonexistant confidence. But at least I can run. If I can hold on to this, I’ll be OK.
I’m ready to race. I mean, not actually. But I’m ready to train … and eventually race. I’ve been looking into halves to annihilate in the coming fall, and here’s a short list of my favorites.
If all goes as planned, I’ll have an early season run (most likely San Diego), followed up by the Santa Barbara race. Nothing has topped my run in Santa Barbara last summer, and I really want to head back there for a PR.
America’s Finest San Diego: August 19
Eugene Women’s: August 26
See Jane Run Austin: October 7
Baltimore: October 13
Santa Barbara: November 10
Fingers crossed … I’m hoping to segue into marathon training (round two) for the Arizona IMS Marathon in February.
Life is not over. I have so much to be thankful for, and I will never forget that.
Running with best friends, making new ones, apples with PB, the most supportive family in the world, homemade baked goods, inspirational books, the tubbiest terrier and my gentle, loving husband.
Everything is going to be OK.
I copied Allie and did a Live Fit inspired workout this afternoon. (This morning I did some bike + abs.)
I ended up running 5 miles, and it was way more fun than straight treadmill running. I’ll definitely be incorporating these workouts into my weekly training. In the future though, I’m going to do a 40:20 run to rest ratio. 30 seconds was a bit too long to wait, but I didn’t want to throw off the timing once I had already started.
1 mile warm up
30 minutes of intervals:
- 30 seconds at 10 mph (2.5 miles total)
- 30 seconds rest
1.5 mile cool down
P.S. - Toe socks = huge success
The last time I ran longer than four miles: eight on January 27.
I really think this is the rebirth of my running. My foot is pain free, and my mind is clear. What more could I ask for on this perfect Easter Sunday?
- Prepare two chicken tamale casseroles (in my underwear) for this week’s meal swap
- Drop the container of almond milk so it can explode on the floor
- Put on running clothes while oven preheats
- Run mile repeats while casseroles bake (x2)
It’s so hard to know what your body is capable … if it was healthy.
I ran a half marathon in 1:53, and I know I could’ve broken 1:50. I accidentally took it easy, not knowing what to expect. (I ran the last 1.3 miles at a 7:30 pace.)
I ran a mile in 6:32 on May 25. That was even before I started my half training and got “fast.”
I ran 30+ miles a week. And I loved it.
Now, here I am. Slow, untrained, scared.
But. I know my body is ready to run. It’s just as anxious as my mind is. And I know that the speed and the endurance will come back.
As daunting as square one is, I need to take the step back into a program. I can’t let the past discourage me.
Four miles may not be 14, but it’s better than zero.